orockthro | Recent Entries

Finally saw this movie!
It was.... fine? I guess?

(No. It was disappointing. I wanted to enjoy it a lot more than I did.)

I disliked the romance and found it 'meh', the plot was thin on the ground, and neither the antagonists nor protagonists really captured my attention. I found myself questioning world building more than I did in other Harry Potter things, and I was often bored.

It felt like an episode of Doctor Who where timey whimey was replaced with magic, and Newt made for a weird cross between Tennant and Smith as doctors, complete with TARDIS briefcase containing endless rooms. It wasn't an "everyone lives" episode, it was a "tears in the rain" episode.

In sum: I was disappoint. Even the music was lackluster.
:(

(I'd have rather re-watched Dr. Who.)

It's a new year. :) As usual, I'm late to that fact, lol.
I do the majority of my journaling on a different site, but have been feeling The Feels about that lately, and am strongly considering returning to DW as a home base.

Things happening so far in 2018:

I currently have a cat purring on me. It's wonderful and cute. Here's a picture of her from awhile back-- endlessly delightful, this cat. <3

I got the advanced copy of a poetry collection I illustrated for. I'm so excited that it's going to be published soon! It was a TOTAL THRILL to see my name listed on the cover as illustrator. :ooo
I have yet to take down the Xmas decorations (mostly Star Wars ornaments, and one crocheted penis that tops the 3' tree) #oops
I have made (3) batches of 'paleo' granola bars and they have steadily improved every time. (YUM)
My sleep has sucked a little less, but is not yet 'fixed' or perfect. It may never be.
I finished a painting that included colored pencils, acrylic paint, and oil paint, and I was super pleased with how it came together.
I have ice skated.
My job is now officially 4 days a week, 32 hours. The pay cut has so far been SO AMAZINGLY WORTH IT. Even having to work with the Most Normal Woman Ever has been worth it. A+

So far so good. :)

I've been pretty low energy all week (lucky me) but at least part of the fatigue I can lay blame to a case of Shingles. Color me surprised when that's what my spotty, itchy, ouchie self came down with. I always thought that was an "over 50" malady, but not so.
I'm on the mend, but still a bit tired. It's hard to tell what of that is just poor sleep (I always sleep poorly before my period), what's a Shingles symptom, and what might be a side effect of the anti-virals I got prescribed. I guess in the end it doesn't matter! Tired is tired.
The meds also give me a bit of the queasy-guts, which is both new and not particularly fun. Only another 2 days on them, though.

Reading news:
I finished "Broken Homes" (4th in the Rivers of London series) and am about 40% of the way through the 5th book, "Foxglove Summer." Still having a lot of fun with this series! So far "Moon Over Soho" is the obvious weak link, and I'm glad the subsequent books have kept my interest. Unfortunately it looks like my library system/Overdrive doesn't have the 6th book on audio. This is deeply sad. :< I really adore the reader.

Cooking news:
No new experiments, but the remaining jars of my coconut yogurt have been delicious, and I can still make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies.

Life news:
Put in a few hours of OT today, and a new Thing I'm Doing is trying to be as CHILL AND NOT STRESSED as possible. ;) You may note from the all caps that this isn't super easy right now. I'm in a higher-than-usual baseline anxiety state at the moment, and trying to ease that down. Nothing awful, just... higher baseline. :/
Apparently one of the triggers for Shingles is stress.
>_____________>;;;;
Part of it is work, part is probably hormones, part is just my brain.
Things I'm doing-- I downloaded a meditation app and am trying to do at least one tiny little guided meditation per day. I'm also trying to do more yoga.
Things I need to figure out how to do-- not absorb my bosses endlessly escalating stress levels.

Yesterday I made.... (wait for it...) YOGURT.
Yes indeed, I braved the weird, nebulous world of bacteria, and came out with something delicious. 8D I'm super duper pleased.

My mom has been making coconut yogurt for the last few months, and she has a dedicated yogurt maker she got off the internet. I wanted to try making coconut yogurt pretty badly (it's yummy, doesn't contain dairy, and also did I mention yummy?) but I'm not at the "buy lots of equipment" stage of this curiosity. Luckily the internet told me I could do it without, it would just be fussier.
So I did!
It wasn't that "hard" either, although the fussy part was accurate. It involved: 2 cans of coconut milk, 1/3 c. of corn starch, 4 tablespoons of store-bought coconut yogurt as a culture, a candy thermometer, and 24 hours.
(I followed this recipe)
I say followed. I ... mostly followed it. Like I said, I used corn starch as a thickener instead of tapioca starch, since corn starch is what I had on hand. Since this was my first batch, I don't know how it differs. I also only ~mostly~ kept it at 100* for about 11 hours instead of the 12-24 recommended.

HOWEVER.
IT WORKED.
24 hours later, I HAVE YOGURT.

I'm... somewhat shocked, and deeply pleased. :D
Imgur is being grumpy so I can't share pics. They'll come later, because I'm deeply pleased with myself. *laughs*

It's boatloads cheaper than buying it from the store.

Store bought--
24 oz plain coconut yogurt: $6.99
(OUCH)

Home-made coconut yogurt--
(2) cans of coconut milk: $4.6
1/3 c. corn starch: $.24
Starter: free from now on, so long as I save some yogurt from the current batch
Yields 48 oz plain homemade coconut yogurt!
Per oz. the homemade coconut yogurt is $.10 whereas the store bought is $.29

BOOM.

Thoughts, in no particular order:

Books
"Whispers Under Ground" by Ben Aaronovitch
Finished this one (3rd in the Rivers of London series) on Wednesday, and am keenly waiting on the hold list from the library for the audio book of book 4. I enjoyed the plot a lot more than "Moon Over Soho"-- probably because for once it involved magical individuals who didn't exude sex appeal and instead made plates. I feel you, magical individuals. I feel you.
Sadly, though, I appear to have eaten through about half the fic in the fandom. Why so small, fandom! I sort of want to write it, but I have 3 more books and several comics to get through before I'm done with canon!
It's proving to be a very fun ride. :)

Artistic Output
That sounds... clinical, doesn't it. That might be half the problem.
I'm doing a year long art project with a friend, hosted on Patreon, and it's been a lovely, fun time. But it's 10 months in. And I'm tired. The work I've been making has been simple and uninspired, and I'm having a hard time sitting down and 'doing the work.'
It's natural for me to want to rest, and resting is important. But it's also tied up with guilt for all the things I 'should' be doing, almost exclusively this means artistically. I don't feel guilt for not sweeping the kitchen. ;P
But jesting aside, it's something I struggle with, and something I need to find peace with.
I feel guilty that:

I'm not working harder on CC:Otherworld's (that year long project) work
I'm not spending my other time working on my dreambook project
I'm behind on a commission
I haven't put any thought into a poetry coloring book I want to do, either solo or with a friend
I haven't finished scripting, let alone designing or making, a short fantasy comic
I haven't posted a art blog update in over a month
My art newsletter has languished

And
(Mostly)
I'm afraid that I'm forgetting how to draw for fun. Everything I do is "projects."

I want to do all these things.
But I also want to lay on the porch floor, lemonade in hand, and let my cat walk over me. I want to play Pokemon guilt free, and sit on the sofa staring at the wall. I want to not worry about wasting my life, or worry that I'll regret not putting more energy into art and writing. I have things I want to MAKE... but I am tired.
I have a full time job. And friends. And two weddings I'm in this summer, and international travel coming up soon.

But is all this just excuses? Am I living an un-creative life when I could be an Art Jedi?

Welcome to my brain. Here, have a pina colata. You might need it.

Sunlight
Is a wonderful thing. I craved it all winter, and now it's here in copious quantities, and I want to soak it all up. We don't have A/C but we haven't melted yet. It's good.
Our backyard is filled with jungle-like life, sun, and a (newly hung) clothesline. Despite my angst above, I'm very content right now. Deeply.
(Note that my roommate's face isn't naturally a blob. I did that just for you. Well. And our anonymity. ;P)

So I still don't know many people here over in dreamwidth land. But I want to. I miss the community aspect of fandom. I miss actually having conversations.
My problem is that I'm not really *in* a particular fandom at all. It happens, and it's not the first time, but it makes finding community harder.

Thoughts I've Had This Week:
How interesting it is to watch the 'death' of traditional lesbian culture, and feel like I should be mourning... but not that I am. There are aspects of 'traditional lesbian culture' that I never did and never will fit in with. I'm asexual, so that community was not set up with the narrative that fit with me. And very often those spaces were transphobic in ways I cannot in any way condone. But still, the loss of female-specific spaces (lesbian bars, etc.) is... sad. I hope there's a resurgence. It makes me appreciate WisCon every year so very much.

Books I've Read This Week:
I finished "Moon Over Soho" by Ben Aaronovitch, and am now on the 3rd of the series, "Whispers Under Ground."
I'm enjoying the world quite a lot, and am feeling fannish flutters (I mayyyy have read a bunch of fic and spoiled myself *coughs*) But the plots are sometimes sorta 'meh.' I'm not really into Peter Grant's male gaze very much, although it at least does feel controlled by authorial intent and not just 'a thing that happens.' And I have to admit that, at least at this point in the series, his interest in Beverly Brook weirds me out. She's mentioned to be a teenager, and while it's clear that means high-age teens (18 or 19 I'd guess) that's still pretty young. :/ The whole 'magical creatures generate a glamour that makes people lust for them' trope is getting old.
But, that said, I do really enjoy the world, and most of the characters, and Peter's POV is super fun.

Things I've Watched This Week:
My roommate and I watched "A League of Their Own" last night. It was odd. I guess enjoyable? It's about the first women's baseball league in World War II when all the fellas were sent off to war. They wore skirts, and had to be coached by a very drunk (and young!) Tom Hanks. Ostensibly, it's based in reality, and there's an actual documentary about this period in time with the same title. I think I would have rather watched that instead.
It was very 1992. I don't have a lot of opinions, except that sexism in 1992 was clearly not solved yet either.
(Shocker)

I have a DW. I keep forgetting. :)
This is a quick post to remind myself of the existence of this corner of the internet, and a prompt to myself to figure out how best to use it.

I've fallen off of Tumblr, and my phone isn't quick enough to handle Twitter. So I'm currently quite bereft. Maybe DW is the thing I've been missing.

Things I'm doing:

Finishing up a 6K ish Man from UNCLE and POB Aubreyad fusion fic that approximately 4 people will ever read. Heh!
Making my first sourdough bread loaf after nursing along a starter for two weeks
Drinking a beer
Smiling at my very cute cat
Watching my housemate play videogames.

Things are good and well.

Title: Nothing Like Serenity
Author: Orockthro (aka BalrogsBreath)
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Summary: The Guildhouse is nothing like Serenity. From the prompt: "Firefly, Inara, the Guildhouse is solid and unmoving (and nothing close to Serenity)," for havenward.
Rating/Warnings: PG. Implied sex/sex acts. She's a companion, it comes with the territory.

( Click to read )

Current Mood: amused

So, life.
I've been busy as a bee back at college, home from Ireland, feeling rather... out of place and exactly in the right place all at once. It's a strange feeling that I don't quite know how to explain.

One of the things I've been working on this semester is opening up the monsterous beast that is my November's NaNo and... pulling out the sludge and reworking the thing from top to bottom. It's going... interestingly. Time away from the project has opened my eyes to the numerous problems that existed in my meager plot and my less than stellar characterizations, but I'm still excited about my concept and my ideas and that is (at this point at least) enough to keep me going. I'll post a snipit or two later on.

It's exactly one week from spring break. Though spring itself is much, much farther away. ;) I'm looking forward to a break from school - I'm feeling.. burnt out, tired, and just sick of the "daily grind," as

carnivorousgiraffe called it. I'm hoping a break, being home, and sitting on my ass (without guilt) for awhile.

Overall, tired is a good way to explain my life right now.

But that's alright. Life is full of cycles, and tired is just one of them. I'm looking forward to being excited about things once more, and I'm hopeful that will come soon enough.
:D

Current Mood: exhausted

More drawings! I really need to get off my ass and do some real art. *sighs*

My problem is that I'm having a bit of an art blockage... (and a writing blockage too...) but I'm in denial. I feel like my imagination's dried up... and I hate it. I think I'm going to break out the oil paints today and play. I need to paint a face. I don't know why, but (xD) I need to paint a face. Maybe that will somehow fix my problem for me.
*sighs*

But until then, I will simply dump mediocre doodles unto the ether. ;)

( Click for more~! )

Current Mood: confused

Well, lookey here, a brand new account to play with. :D
I don't quite know what I'll do with it.. yet.. but the possibilities are tantalizing.
The most likely use for this lovely place will be as an art dumping ground. Because art needs to be dumped, of course. :D

This is sort of a dumping of last year's stuff. Not all of it is so hot, so beware. Also, some were taken with a camera as opposed to a scan, so the color is a bit wonky in a few

( And more below! )

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orockthro

January 2018

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Page Summary

Thoughts On: "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them"
New Year
Sleepy Sundays
YOGURT
Friday Thoughts
Books!
When you lift off the dust sheets and find.... something....
Fic: Nothing Like Serenity
Daily Grind, Begone Now?
3 Mediocre Doodles
A Brand New Toy...

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Style: Fruit Salad for Leftovers by sforzinda

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Page generated Jun. 19th, 2025 12:44 pm

The Rabbit Hole

Recent Entries

Thoughts On: "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them"

New Year

Sleepy Sundays

YOGURT

Friday Thoughts

Books!

When you lift off the dust sheets and find.... something....

Fic: Nothing Like Serenity

Daily Grind, Begone Now?

3 Mediocre Doodles

A Brand New Toy...