The Rabbit Hole

Books
"Whispers Under Ground" by Ben Aaronovitch
Finished this one (3rd in the Rivers of London series) on Wednesday, and am keenly waiting on the hold list from the library for the audio book of book 4. I enjoyed the plot a lot more than "Moon Over Soho"-- probably because for once it involved magical individuals who didn't exude sex appeal and instead made plates. I feel you, magical individuals. I feel you.
Sadly, though, I appear to have eaten through about half the fic in the fandom. Why so small, fandom! I sort of want to write it, but I have 3 more books and several comics to get through before I'm done with canon!
It's proving to be a very fun ride. :)

Artistic Output
That sounds... clinical, doesn't it. That might be half the problem.
I'm doing a year long art project with a friend, hosted on Patreon, and it's been a lovely, fun time. But it's 10 months in. And I'm tired. The work I've been making has been simple and uninspired, and I'm having a hard time sitting down and 'doing the work.'
It's natural for me to want to rest, and resting is important. But it's also tied up with guilt for all the things I 'should' be doing, almost exclusively this means artistically. I don't feel guilt for not sweeping the kitchen. ;P
But jesting aside, it's something I struggle with, and something I need to find peace with.
I feel guilty that:

• I'm not working harder on CC:Otherworld's (that year long project) work
• I'm not spending my other time working on my dreambook project
• I'm behind on a commission
• I haven't put any thought into a poetry coloring book I want to do, either solo or with a friend
• I haven't finished scripting, let alone designing or making, a short fantasy comic
• I haven't posted a art blog update in over a month
• My art newsletter has languished

And
(Mostly)
I'm afraid that I'm forgetting how to draw for fun. Everything I do is "projects."

I want to do all these things.
But I also want to lay on the porch floor, lemonade in hand, and let my cat walk over me. I want to play Pokemon guilt free, and sit on the sofa staring at the wall. I want to not worry about wasting my life, or worry that I'll regret not putting more energy into art and writing. I have things I want to MAKE... but I am tired. 
I have a full time job. And friends. And two weddings I'm in this summer, and international travel coming up soon.

But is all this just excuses? Am I living an un-creative life when I could be an Art Jedi?

Welcome to my brain. Here, have a pina colata. You might need it.